top of page

"Finding Beauty in [Death's] Dissonance"

Contemplating mortality seems to be a prerequisite “intensifier” that’s a catalyst for a deeper contemplation of consciousness, the existential nature of Life, and even God. Sure, we can find the divine Beauty existing within anything focused on, but it becomes more challenging to discover its hidden presence when things can seem to get so “ugly.” Luckily, more than signaling an end to any story, its “passover” is only part of a culling process, pruning that necessary for evolutionary transformation, so that the True story can continue, without the impediment of any nonessential sediment. It’s visage can be seen in the seasons, each autumn when the plants parade their pageantry of apparent death, dropping everything on the outside to regenerate from within. Of course, there are plenty of literal and figurative associations to death that can be made, some subtle and less daunting while others seem more “gross” along the scale of their finality. Still, it’s inarguably a “natural” phenomenon, which suggests that it also hides a secret Beauty, and “winks” in connection to all of reality’s other existing splendors. However, penetrating into its depths, and boiling its Mystery to the top enough to fearlessly embrace ITS Beauty, may certainly not seem to be as simple an undertaking as smelling the flowers, watching the clouds roll by, listening to birds sing, feeling the sand between your toes, or eating a delicious meal. Another equally powerful experience that erects the question of “where does life emerge from” and “why is life as it is” would be sex. Such a “fascinating” dance of hypnotically seductive entrancement, also naturally occurring for the sake of evolution, complete with its psychological intricacies that court themselves into our couplings. Beyond the mechanical operation and biological observations,we probably understand the scope of factors involved with this phenomenon, such as everything that pulls two beings together for the exchange and everything that ripples forward from its wake, just as much as we are familiar with the dimensions of death beyond its matter of fact and science of decay… Curiously, sex and death are linked, saturated together in an occulted bog of other esoteric concepts. Let’s flip the coin and consider the complementary paradox to which these themes are a perfectly balanced match, and then look at what processes lead into and come out of the sexy domain of Death’s dark cavern. When everything is going good in Life, things can be thought of to be in full bloom. The material world in which we breathe is enjoyed for the cornucopia of sensual experiences it offers. Through the security of all that holds us in the lap of pleasure, we can witness Beauty in all we behold, being inspired to create and mold more beautiful things in our abundant environment. In this way, life is like a slab of clay, where we already enjoy the smell of the raw material and the sensation of our fingers squishing into it, as we then develop what we already own to forge its form further and shape out something of appreciated value. With such, that which yields security comes from those things that “matter” to us, which we then take measure to own more of and accumulate. However, the opposite but equal tug in response to physical accumulation is loss. If we can sit back and reflect about a time that we “had it all” and were content, then a time during which we are “without” would seem to constitute the discontent of not having those same physical needs/desires met through our tangible experience. It’s usually during such moments, and not those when we’re at peace in the lap of luxury, that we may proclaim “Why me?!” When things are dark, scary, or otherwise not so pretty, and we feel the pang of some loss, which seems to thwart our pleasure with deprivation, we then start to dig, question, and pry into the shadowy unknown in attempt to a) become more resourceful with regards to maintaining sustenance, and/or b) figure out why and how such experiences occur, and how they can be mitigated. An animal with food and shelter may behave very tame, but the same creature without either could act in wild ways. By this token, one dichotomy is between safety/pleasure and danger/pain, which can easily be extended to symbolize “life” and “death.” When situations reach such an extreme, the transformation of one creature’s behavior into that of something else is quite evident. After all, survivalism is, and always was, the name of the game in the world of living things. The other animalistic avenue of survival is procreation. When it’s time for an animal to focus on themselves having a fulfilling experience, growing themselves to be big and strong, copulation may be of little regard, but when instincts related to continuing the species after it’s individual demise are ramped up in the event that “the end” can be seen, that individual “dies” to itself and becomes intent upon merging with some “other” in a dance that will prolong the family tree’s genetic chain of existence, despite the mounding truth that individual expiration is inevitable. Hence, again, sex and death slide to the side that represents an extreme attempt to transcend the inherent limitations to the physical body, life, and form existence, where all things (not regenerated) eventually succumb to entropy and decay. This existential dilemma causes some people to react in instinctually fearful ways when confronted. Some will hoard their earthly treasures in an attempt to safeguard against any impending crisis. Others become paranoid, suspicious, manipulative, and conniving in attempt to ensure that they remain in a “superior” life position, as opposed to the chance of having to feel some sense of “death” to their perceived security. “Survival of the fittest” becomes the motto that’s used to rationalize and justify any “slimy” “slithering” done in the name of self-preservation. However, for those that notice these natural thematic rhythms to exist, and can examine the phenomena from the mental plane without the intensity of emotional charge, the entire conundrum pushes an investigation into such seemingly adverse situations from a higher “birds eye” perspective without the urgency of impending doom that might cause others to act brashly. Ultimately, everything is an exchange, and in order to “hold” and own something, there is something that one must be without, and let go of, and the same is true in reverse. Obviously, to be alive is NOT to be dead, and vice versa. Similarly, to be totally immersed in, and saturated with, the physical world would indicate the possibility of being less in tune to the invisible world of the soul (or phenomena of consciousness and its continuum if that word offends...), and any immaterial security there. On the flip side, to be totally immersed in spiritual existence could suggest that one is less grounded in the 3D experience, not embodying the full plushness of physical life possible. Of course there’s everything in between as well, but we notice the discrepancy much “louder” when strongly polarized to one side or the other. This also sets up the tension between the “finite” and the “eternal.” When we discover that our food, money, or life can be “taken” from us, that sense of security becomes more finite, causing us to reach towards something beyond that may surpass our own limits (possibly by merging and investing in survival together by sharing resources with another), and eventually even beyond the limits of physicality altogether. Thus begins an exploration into hidden, taboo, esoteric, and occult ideas, such as past lives, ancestral inheritance, DNA, life after death and the afterlife, etc. (An opposite bias could indicate someone with a penchant for being crafty during extreme situations, and, having a keen knack for collusion but without any sturdy resources of their own, their nature becomes more vampirical. Or, perhaps that could even be seen in someone that was deeply devoted to spiritual/non-physical study but can’t seem to “get their mess together” enough to have a “pot to piss in” or food to eat…) Regardless, a confrontation with the limits of one’s personal storehouse, and the limits of physical existence, often prods one’s thinking into whatever realms of the “unknown” are most relevant for the occasion. One appreciation that can be gained from such an excavation is the notion of how nature operates in cycles and seasons. Just as things seem to “die” in fall, they are “reborn” in the spring. The fall time shows us a stripping away of various things that need to be eliminated or recycled for continued growth, and then new fresh beginnings all start to bud during spring. In that way, one can start to see how there’s simply a time during which it is “fit” for storing, accumulating, and enjoying, and there is a time when things are ripe to “weed the garden” and prune away any developments that have become overly rampant and in the way of larger cycles of progress. When this “death process” is realized to be something necessary and essential, not good or bad in and of itself, it loses some of its “sting.” Such a realization can also allow one to honestly appraise whether or not their love of the material has degraded into the decadent form of idolatry, where the vessel or “package” is exalted without any regard to something of value residing within. Slowly but surely, our confrontations with the invisible Mysteries of life and death also transform and mature our values, so that we’re able to evaluate worth beyond immediate sense gratification. We begin to realize that we’re hungry for more later after the cake is done, or there’s always going to be a newer, nicer model of some car to own, and so we begin to quest into seeking something that WON’T die, or that will at least satisfy beyond the end points we’ve established to exist with the pleasures that once so simply satisfied. At that juncture, as we come to terms with physical limitation, we seek to discover something bigger than ourselves that we can merge with, invest in, and share from the experience. In the past, while clamoring to “hold on” to whatever symbols of power and security satiated, this act of merging may occur relative to some other person, or even a business, organization, or establishment that’s “bigger” than us. However, as the futility of keeping the physical experience alive indefinitely is dispelled, the focus shifts to the notion of that which is NOT physical. Whether the term “soul” or “God” is used or not, the focus shifts towards discovering something that exists beyond the threshold of our senses, and timeless teachings are sought for guidance with pruning the personality (and all its physical attachments to comfort) towards the development of something beyond, which is “unbreakable” in the face of loss, debt, death, and other intensely extreme crises. In this process, a person(ality) “dies” in one form, and is reborn as another, with a totally transformed appraisal of value and desire. Consciousness, and not matter, become the currency cared about. Now that we’ve looked at both ends of the stick, and we’ve seen how an overindulgence in life’s bounty can, when fully consumed, drive someone to explore the necessity of loss and death and transformation (since what physically is formed cannot stay as such forever), let’s also briefly touch upon where that process of depth-diving comes from and goes. Just as the notion of comfort and beauty in the physical world can seem ephemeral in the face of death, it is out of those notions that it must come forward. There precedes a stage of perfected balance and harmony, where it seems that all pairs are reconciled and Beauty reigns supreme. However, it is the deterioration of balance which depreciates such harmony. When all things are held in perfect evenness, there is a stillness that is without issue. However, as soon as the scales tip and one side becomes heavier and the other lighter, more extreme measures become needed for further evolution, less one side becomes “too much” at the expense of the other being “too little.” At such a time, BOTH sides must “die” and “come together” to merge as one in order to stay together and survive. Being “separate but equal” no longer works, and joining forces is required. Of course, if impurities still remain, and one party to the scenario is unwilling to “die,” destructive compulsions ensue where one side or the other will attempt to “overtake” the other and be the one that’s “superior” and in control of the lesser, “inferior” position. Ideally though, this process would occur within one entity, with the struggle being an internal one between the personality and the soul (or whatever term is preferred for an invisible, timeless, eternal component), but this dance can also be seen being mundanely acted out by two distinct parties, where the slippery slope of a winner/loser delusion and dichotomy can seem to be the case, as opposed to a True merging of mutually reciprocal exchange. Regardless, the stable stasis of a dual balancing act must eventually topple into a demise where either one consumes the other, or the two become one. Either way, something dies. We’ve given plenty of consideration to the arena of Death’s realm, and the manner in which spelunking into the unknown can fortify one’s internal sense of invisible, immaterial security so as to safeguard against the threat of matter’s looming, and inevitable, decay. This internal confrontation could be called the “dark night of the soul” or the confrontation with the “Dweller on the Threshold” to some extent. However, call it what you may, following the dive into the depths is when one takes flight from the heights. All of the occult lessons learned, and the realizations and conclusions that have come from loss, crisis, and experiencing the finality of some treasured, precious form when it must be liberated and recycled for evolutionary advancement of some sort, all serve to ignite a light that shines pointed in a direction that steers our beliefs to expand and grow. Whatever Truth we find in our darkness then becomes the radiant beacon we shoot forward to guide our way. As such, we use our stories, and the philosophies that have resulted, as a way of inspiring others and ourselves towards nobler goals. We begin to more fully synthesize a world picture that’s bigger than ourselves and our personal pleasure, seeking to more inclusively identify ourselves with larger wholes of culture and life. We seek knowledge and understanding, to continue our upward journey, instead of devoting our drive to accumulate more physical “stuff/experience,” which was found to be exhaustible. Once the inexhaustible, and eternally infinite, dimensions of life have been tapped into, and the impermanence of physicality has been encountered, the 3D world of maya just doesn’t hold the appeal on its own in the same way it once did. Overall, the biggest take-away is that everything, whether it be enjoying matter or discovering spirit, is just a process within a process. All of them are due in rotation at some time and season for some purpose and reason, and before we can Truly enjoy the Beauty of any one piece to the puzzle, we have to be able to appreciate its counterpart, as well as the way they all weave together as one eternally Beautiful whole. (Yay! I managed to share this entire chunk of perspective without using the words, Pluto, Scorpio, Taurus, Venus, Libra, or Sagittarius...although they’re all in there as honorary “sponsors” :P~ ...As is the notion of polarity between all earth/water signs, so the Scorpio/Taurus theme being addressed at large is also evident in the contrast of Cancer/Capricorn and Pisces/Virgo as well...but you don’t have to know all the labels to be able to conceptualize the ideas :P~ )

19 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page